You confront her about the bruises on her cheek and she confesses it was her husband, then she quickly adds, "but he's really a good husband." No he is not! I know this, not by judging his heart but rather by judging the fruit of his relationship with her: Bruises! A good husband does not beat his wife, a bad husband does.
She doesn't make sure her kids are up on time for school, she doesn't see to it that they have clean clothes, she doesn't even fix them breakfast because she's hungover again, "But she loves those children more than anything." Not! A mother who loves her children more than anything does everything she can to insure that nothing gets in the way of providing for their needs. A mother who loves her self more does less for her children.
A bad husband may have feelings for the wife he beats, but not truly love her. A mother who chooses alcohol over her children's welfare may have feelings for her children, but she doesn't really love them. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice - a choice to seek the greatest good of another. And the evidence or fruit of that choice is easily seen.
Listen to what the apostle James had to say, "let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth" (1 Jn 3:18). Love is not words or feelings, it is action: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us" (1 Jn 3:16). Do you get that? Do you see that love and sacrifice for another go hand in hand. Good husband, loving mothers, real friends go to the mat for the ones they love and that fruit is as plain as apples on a tree.
Jus' Sayn.
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