Unbelieving Belief

A certain man's son was demon possessed and often went into fits of seizure.  The disciples tried to heal him but were unable.  When Jesus came on the scene, the boy's father recounted the disciples' failed attempts and then said, "'But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us. [to which Jesus replied] 'If you can?  Everything is possible for one who believes.'Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!'" (Mk 922-24).

Sound familiar?  Not necessarily the text but the dichotomy of faith - that in between place we so often stand, believing and doubting at the same time.  We believe God is and that he is able to do anything but we doubt that he really will.  Perhaps you have prayed like a certain woman asked God to remove a dead tree from her back yard.  The next morning, looking out her back window, seeing the tree, exclaimed, "Still there, just like I thought!"

Really?  Her doubt laced prayer wasn't answered?  Imagine that.  Better yet, listen to the Lord's warning about that: "But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt....That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord" (Js 1:6-7).  Do we not often find ourselves in that same position?  We pray for someone to live and then set about to make funeral preparations.  We ask God to keep our old jalopy running until we can afford another one and then trade it in upside down, making payments that break the bank.  We pray for rain but grab an umbrella on the way out.

Is it just me?  Am I the only one who turns things over to God and then tries to micro-manage the outcome?  Is is just my faith that needs a "shot in the arm?"  No, to one degree or another, we all share this "dis - ease."  But do we have to accept that weakness of spirit?  Can we not ask in faith and step out trusting the Father to grant our request, even when it is not yet evident how he will answer?

Can we not say no to the paralysis of doubt and yes to the launching pad of faith, even though we struggle with fully embracing God's power and participation in our lives?  Can we not also ask, "Lord I do believe; help me with my unbelief?"  Can we not admit our weakness while leaning in for strength?  Yes we can!  We can take our unbelieving belief, lay it openly at our Father's feet and like the boy's dad in the story above, God can bless our exercise of a weak faith.

If you think about it, how do you address weak muscles?  Do you wait until they are strong enough before you begin to use them?  Do you wait until your legs are back to 100% before you trust them enough to attempt walking on them?  NO!  We use them, testing them, trying them, building them up to the point where we freely use them.  Faith too must be exercised.  We must take our unbelieving belief and begin to exercise it so that it might grow to an unstoppable faith that fears not but trusts fully in God's power to save.  Jus' Say'n.