The Real You

So often you hear that a certain actor, who always seemed to be such a down-to-earth person in the movie rolls and even on the interview circuit, but in real life turn out to be a totally self-absorbed megalomaniac (super inflated sense of self-importance).  Politicians, perhaps, are the masters of this Jekyll and Hyde persona, where they are all smiles, hand shakes and baby-kissing machines on the stump but are rude, crude and condescending when the cameras are turned the other way.

It's easy to find examples of this kind of hypocrisy in the public arena, where being the focus of so much attention and the recipient of so many accolades, has produced a head-swelling, ego-inflated sense of self.  However, this disease is not limited to the celebrities, politicians and others for whom camera personas are projected to attract and maintain public support.

The two-faced posture of the professional actor or politician is a commonly employed ruse of the common man and woman.  What you see at church on Sunday and what you would see in their home on Monday can be totally different looks.  How one appears to the boss and how one looks to co-workers can be two completely separate pictures.

Back in the days when people still made sculptures, there would often be mistakes made that would be covered over with a colored wax.  A truly great sculpture would be described as "without wax."  This term became applied to anything that was authentic or "sincere."  The word sincere itself is a construct of two Latin words: sin (without) and cera (wax) - without wax.

In psychology circles, you hear the term "masking," which is hiding of one's true self by projecting a different persona - one that we think will be acceptable to whomever it may be we are facing at the moment.  We, in fact, don't have one mask but many as there are so many different settings in which we find ourselves.  Many just want to be accepted, some want to gain an advantage, others want to hide the ugliness they know is inside.

Whatever the reason, people tend to wear masks.  It takes time, effort and a genuine desire to get down to the real you as opposed to the projected you.  It takes the hard work of building trust ad providing safety found in a genuine relationship to get to the genuine person behind the mask.  It is not just a matter of asking someone to be authentic, there is also the matter of allowing them to do so.

Imagine, for instance, a Trump supporter being authentic at a Hillary rally or vice versa.  Or, imagine the wife of a jealous husband admitting she finds certain other men attractive.  Imagine a deacon admitting he is struggling with pornography.  Yeah, fun times - not!

But then imagine a world in which we could admit such things and be loved through the struggle instead of castigated or dismissed.  What if we truly followed the teachings of the Bible that instructs us to "confess your sins one to another so that you can be healed" (Js 5:16)?  Of course, we'd have to believe that we'd be lifted up instead of beat down, helped out instead of thrown out.

Question: Is you marriage a safe place to admit struggle?  Is you church a safe place to admit sin?  Are you a safe person to whom another can admit fault?  "The real you" we want to see as we look into the eyes of another is not truly possible to find as long as we are poised to attack that which is different than we are wanting to see.

Can we let the real them come to forefront and accept them as they are or while they are working to change?  Don't you want others to see the real you and still love you?  We need to change the paradigm of what unmasking leads to.  We need it to lead to help, healing and hope.  Jus' Say'n.