Anger Management

For many Christians, anger management means to suppress any feelings of anger, to strive toward a state of equilibrium where there are no moments of heightened emotional response. The idea seems to be that a follower of Jesus would always exhibit self control and be at peace.

The only problem with that theory is "it ain't so!"  Jesus was loving and kind to the degree that he is called "The Lamb of God" (Jn 1:36).  But, on the other hand, he had the ability to so aggressively stand against wrong-doing that he would also be referred to as "The Lion of Judah" (Rev 5:5).  You may recall the time in the Temple when Jesus fashioned a whip out of cords and drove the greedy money changers out (see Jn 2:15).

So, what is anger management to look like for the disciple of Jesus Christ?  Paul put it this way, “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold" (Eph 4:26-27).  In other words, when you get angry, as you surely will when you are  wrongly injured or witness injustice, don't allow your anger to morph into sin by becoming hatred or doing wrong yourself.

We should be angry when evil rises it's ugly head, only "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom 12:21).  We need to seek to bring good out of a bad situation. By that may mean facing down the evil doer so that justice can prevail. So, allow yourself to be angry but do not let the anger manage you - choose to do good. Jus' Say'n.

Higher Purpose

I was listening the other day to someone speak about a study completed recently correlating wages and job production.  The study compared the output of workers in relation to the amount of salary paid and found that workers paid more for the same job, did not perform better on the whole.  In fact, the ones paid less tended to do better.

It seems that the ones who were paid less placed more value on their job and the ones who were paid more placed more value on themselves.  That being true, the higher paid workers felt their job was beneath them and the lower paid workers felt lucky or blessed to have a job.

However, there was another group which outperformed everyone else - the ones who found a higher purpose in their job or vocation.  Those who saw their work as bigger than themselves and/or more important than their individual lives, tended to have very high output, regardless of the pay.  These kind of workers often put in extra hours for no pay, many simply volunteer.

As another chaplain and I were traveling yesterday to a conference in Oklahoma  City, we both were receiving calls from our offices regarding concerns with veteran population.  He, a chaplain working with the VA and me a chaplain coordinating veteran services for Arkansas Hospice, took those calls and helped to work out their issues even though we were released from regular duties to present at this conference.  Why?

We both believe that what we do is important work.  We both work more hours than we're paid for and take calls after hours because we believe our cause is great.  We serve a segment of our population that has served our country and many are in dire need of being ministered to now. And, as the Blues Brothers said, "We're on a mission from God!"

We both believe that we are working for the Lord and that fact alone makes whatever we do vitally important, having a higher purpose then ourselves.  But the truth is, every Christian should approach his/her work in this light: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" (Col 3:23).

Think what a better world this would be if we all approached our jobs with this kind of attitude.  Consider how your witness for God would be amplified as you worked with joy and purpose instead of drudgery and complaints.  How much more productive would we be and therefore our communities and our country if all Christians worked as though for the Lord and not for man.  What if indeed we all set about our tasks as a mission for God?  Jus' Ask'n.

Choices

While visiting family in Missouri over the weekend, my brother Gary, who is battling cancer, said he knew an old man back in the woods whose refrigerator and freezer had stopped working and he needed my help and the help of our other brother Larry to get a freezer to him.

The three of us piled into Larry's truck in search of a freezer, which we found at Home Depot.  We loaded it up and headed back in the woods to a terribly run down shack surrounded by worn out vehicles and assorted piles of junk.

An old toothless man appeared from somewhere out of the rubble.  He seemed a little hesitant seeing the three of us but he knew my brothers and Gary has kind of adopted him, trying to help him out by taking him to town and seeing to his needs.  He was very happy to see the freezer and very apologetic for the mess, explaining that he hasn't been well and saying "my brain isn't all there."

He seemed so hopeless and helpless although not entirely penniless as he kept offering each of us money, which I assumed came from his social security check.  But we weren't there to make money and refused his offers, although he did insist that Larry at least take some gas money.  I think the old man just wanted to have some investment in the gift.

I keep thinking about that old man, his shanty of a dwelling and what brought him to such a place in life.  Surely this was not his dream as he was growing up, not the goal he had in his working years, not his choice for a retirement home.  And yet, there he is, living a third-world lifestyle in the Land of Opportunity.  How did he get there?

The short answer: choices.  I don't know his past but I do know that he has been on journey, having chosen a particular pathway.  We don't just end up somewhere, we travel there, each step a choice along the way.  Jesus is very clear in saying: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Mt 7:13-14).

Jesus is not saying and I'm no suggesting that people choose death and destruction necessarily but that by not choosing the path leading to life, we, by default, choose the path of destruction.  I don't think the old man had been making choices to get him to his destination in a purposed way, but that he had not been making better choices along the way that would have brought him to a much different place in life.

Given his mental state currently, I'm not sure he's capable now of making different choices.  He may be too far down that road to even conceive of a different path.  He is truly now an unfortunate, someone in need of help.  Unless there is someone, like my brother, to look after him, he will likely die out there of exposure.

But wouldn't it have been wonderful if he had made some different choices along the way?  He might still have family in his life, friends who really cared about him, a church to help in his spiritual struggles, a Savior to lift him up...  

I don't know about all his choices and I don't know what if anything can be done at this point.  But I do know that you and I have choices every day to be more like Christ or more self-determined.  We can sow seeds of grace, love, generosity, health, etc. (see Gal 6:7 "reap what we sow").  Where we wind up in the future depends on the choices we make today.  What are your choices?  Jus' Ask'n.

Fearless

In the Book of Daniel, we read of the time King Nebuchadnezzar built an image of gold, 90 ft tall and 9 ft wide, commanding that everyone bow down and worship before it at certain times.  Three men in particular refused: Shadrach, Meshach and Abendego - three Hebrew slaves.

Because they refused, they were brought before the king, who told them to comply with his command or they would  be thrown into a blazing furnace. Their fearless response sets the gold standard for trust and faithfulness:

“King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up" (Daniel 3:16-18).

They were committed to faithfulness and fully trusted in God to deliver them, even if the deliverace meant death.  Their fearless faith response reminds me of the aposttles Peter and John, who were threatened with severe punishment if they did not stop talking openly about Jesus: "Which is right in God's eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges! As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard" (Acts 4:19-20).

Although controversial in her stand, I see the county clerk down in Kentucky in a very similar vein.  The Supreme Court struck down the laws that prohibit same sex marriages, but the Lesgislators have not produced a new law allowing for it.  The courts do not have the power to right laws.  And, even if a law was written, it would still violate her conscience.

You can say, "She should just resign."  But she would counter, "The government should make accommodation for her faith just as they have in many other cases, where faith and law collide, pursuant to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Regardless of what your faith or mine would allow, hers does not allow signing off on same-sex marriages as a county clerk and she is taking a stand that has already brought her some jail time and may very well end in a prison sentence.

Of course, I don't think marriage is a government thing, I believe it is a God thing: "what God has joined together..." (Matt 19:6).  And, if God doesn't endorse it, it isn't marriage.  So, while I might be able to sign a governmental license (I'm not certain), I could not perform any marriage I thought God did not approve.  That is my right, my faith and my stand.  She has taken hers.

So my question is, unlike Obama's red line drawn for Syria that Bashar al-Assad skipped over without pause or retaliation, where is your red line of faith over which you will not step?  Do you have a line that you would refuse to cross over, at the penalty of jail or even death?

I believe that each of us, as children of God, must have a point at which we say "This far and no more," even if it costs us all we have for "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" (Matt 16:26).  At the end of the day, we ought to be fearless "of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul" (Matt 10:28).

Jus' Say'n.

The Lock Box

I was talking with an elderly veteran couple the other day who had sold their house and moved into an assisted living facility due to declining health and mobility.  It made sense to liquidate the assets in their house to allow them to pay the ALF rent.  It made sense to everyone but the Federal Government, who will see that they are trading one dwelling place for another, but rather see that they now have assets.

This is important because the veteran is drawing a need-based pension, and the amount of money they got for their home to pay the high cost of an ALF will disqualify them for that tiny pension they have been depending on.  Their financial situation has not changed in real dollars but it has on paper, and that is all the beaurocrats seem to understand.

So, what are they to do?  Well, they have to make the assests above the allowable to go away.  When I explained that to them, the wife said, "So we should take that amount and put it into a lock box?"  I replied, "No," for two reasons: 1) That would be fraud and 2) they could lose everything.

I told her that, since the amount over the limit wasn't all that much, they each could give their daughter a certain amount, which would not cause a tax liability, and hopefully she would in turn use it to help them out as they might need.  But it had to be given freely, without strings - no longer under their control.  This wouldn't work for Medicaid but it does for VA Pension as there is no VA look-back period.

Here's the deal: The couple needed to move into an ALF, they had to sell their house to afford the monthly cost so it was a trade of dwelling for dwelling.  A dwelling is not considered countable assets in their case but the proceeds from a sale is.  They were in a catch 22.  The lock box seemed to be the answer except that would be a crime (as if the Federal Government's policy isn't).

The real answer, gifting the money to their daughter, is only a movement of assets off their papers (assuming, of course, that their daughter doesn't decide to just spend the money and not help her parents), but it doesn't involve a lie or fraud.  While essentially the same outcome, it can be openly disclosed when discussing assets.  One is in the dark and the other is in the light.  And that difference makes all the difference for "A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish" (Pr 19:9).

God does not bless lies and deceit, even to short-sighted beaurocrats who haven't the capacity to look at things from a real-life vantage point.  They live in a world of papers and the rules are born out of that context.  Yet we are "to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience" (Rom 13:5).  Jus' Say'n.

It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

After the major campaign to secure the Promised Land was over, Caleb came to Joshua and said, "So here I am today, eighty-five years old.   I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the Lord helping me, I will drive them out just as he said" (Josh 14:10-12    

Yesterday, I met with a 95 year-old veteran and his bride of 11 years.  He had been a bachelor the first eighty-four years of his life, before meeting and marrying the woman he had been waiting for.  Just when most men would consider their lives pretty much over, this gentleman was just beginning a new chapter.

Perhaps you've read about the 100 year-old Santa Clara man, Don Pellmann, who just set five world records for Senior Olympics in 100 degree weather.  He blew the top off  of records set in the high jump, the long jump, 100-meter dash, shot put and discus over a five-hour period of competition.  Since he began Senior Olympics, at the tender age of 70, he has won hundreds of gold medals.

So, why am I talking about these rare exceptions to the human condition?  Because they are not.  They are not rare exceptions to the human condition, they are rare exceptions to human conditioning. In other words, it's not that we can't keep on keeping on as we reach advanced age, it's that we don't choose to do what it takes to begin exercising at 70, marry at 84 or take the hill country at 85.

Proper rest, exercise, diet - conditioning, not condition.  The human condition allows for  us to reach advanced ages and still be healthy.  This is true physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Our conditioning, or lack thereof, will determine whether we experience that healthiness or not (of course, things can happen to us regardless of conditioning but the exceptions do not discount the rule).

So, let me ask you: Do you eat right, sleep right, exercise right, pray right, study your Bible right, serve others right, do right, etc.?  Is it your goal to be an effective servant of God, even in your closing years?  Are you willing to condition your mind, body and soul to keep on keeping on?  You know, as Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over 'til it's over."  But it's over when you choose to stop.

Solomon said, "Whatever your hand find to do, do it with all your might" (Eccl 9:10).  Your might will not always be the same, but you can always use all of your might.  Instead of laying down and giving up, why not get up and lay down a new challenge, a renewed effort, a reset on life?  Jus' Ask'n.

What Do You Want?

I listened to a comedian the other day on the radio talk about the last dust up he and his wife had.  It began when he asked her what she would like for dinner to which she replied, "Oh, I don't care, just pick something."  So he said, "OK how about Mexican?"  She replied, "Oh no!  That gives me heart burn."  Each choice he brought up, she declined.  He said, "Why don't you just tell me what you want?"  She answered, "I don't care, just pick something."  And around and around they went until frustration gave way to anger and they just dropped the idea of eating out.

The problem wasn't an unwillingness to provide what was wanted, the problem was the uncertainty of what was desired and the inability to ask for what she wanted.  The fact that there were so many she did not want, clearly indicated that there was something she did want, but she was not forth coming in her request for one reason or another.

James says, "You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God" (Js 4:2).  He is speaking to people who get frustrated because they do not have what they want because they have not bothered to ask for it.  They are somehow expecting to receive what they want without asking.  Perhaps you've heard your spouse say or you've said, "Well, if I have to ask, just forget it!"  Really?  Of course we have to ask.  Sometimes things come our way unexpectantly, without asking, but more often, we don't have because we don't ask.  And I would add, ask directly.

Last night, I sat across the table from someone who could help provide some of the needs of our We Honor Vets program where I work.  I shared with him what we were doing, the reason why we chose those things and then I asked for his help.  He replied, "So, how much do you need?"  I then replied, in a very specific way what we needed and why, and then a very specific number.  He said, "I'll have your check drafted in the morning."

Now, I can't tell you that you will get everything you ever ask from every person you ask it, but I can say that if you don't ask, and ask specifically, your chances of receiving it drop considerably - wouldn't you agree?  Further, and more importantly, when it comes to God, your request will be answered.  "Ask and you will receive" (Mt 7:7).

Now God may have to make some modification based on his righteousness and goodness and his love for you, but he will listen and he will answer.  But you must first be willing to ask for what you truly want.  Do you know what you truly want?  Maybe that should be your first request, to know what it is that you truly desire.  It may not be what you think.  Jus' Say'n.