This is not just a common problem, it is a universal problem for the God of the universe stands by willing to bless us if we will just ask. "You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God" (Js 4:2).
Rather than ask God, man often tries to get what he needs on his own and often by any means necessary. However, in the end, we so often fail to get what we really want, even though we pull out all the stops. We even resort to trying to simply take what we want, which doesn't insure we will get anything more than compounded loss.
All the while, God is saying to us, "Hey, just ask me. I want to bless you!" The key to what we really want and need is just ask. And yet, we fail to do so time and again. And, then when we do get around to asking God, we still do not receive because we don't "just" ask. I'm making a little play on words here. I'm not using the word "just" to to mean simply but rather as a moral qualifier.
Listen to the next verse in the Book of James, "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures" (v. 3). God stands ready to give what we ask if we "just" ask - simply ask in a just manner.
To be selfish is not just, it is seeking to subvert justice and direct the common good to self. Selfish people don't want what is good for everyone or just, they simply want what is best for self, regardless and even in spite of the needs of others.
God is telling us that when we are consider of the needs of others in our asking, He is predisposed to give whatever we ask because it serves the common good and therefore just in the asking.
Don't wrangle and wrest with others over what you want, don't do without what you need. Instead, turn to God in humble, selfless petition and He will provide. Jus' Say'n.
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