Doubt

When I consider the evidence of design in the universe, I am convinced that there must be a Designer.  Chance leads to chaos whereas direction leads to the determined.  We are not left to chaos in the universe, there are very determined laws upon which we can relay, upon which science can operate.

When I consider the evidence of my own life, how that I have been changed from the inside out, how God has answered prayer after prayer, how my life has been given direction, how that I have been brought back from the pit - I have no doubt that God is alive and that his Spirit lives in me.

I have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.  I have felt his presence, heard him speak deep in my spirit, experienced the cleansing of his blood.  I have no doubt that he exists and that his Spirit lives in me.

And yet, I have experienced and feel certain I will again experience doubt.  My faith has wavered at times and I have wondered if God is near, if his Word is true, if I am anything more than a collection of atoms somehow just here and thrown together as the evolutionists theorize.

The evidence has not changed, my past experiences have not changed and the Spirit of God has not left me.  What happens that I doubt?  Where does my faith flee?  My faith doesn't flee.  My faith is the "confidence in what I hope for and assurance about what I do not see" (Heb 11:1).  That confidence and assurance do not actually leave, my faith does not evaporate.

What happens is that my imagination and my emotions are given fuel by circumstances that sweep me up and slam me to the ground.  I am rattled by the force of the experience and my imagination takes flight, lifted by the wind of my imagination given rise by the tumult of the storm.  I set aside the evidence of my faith and react emotionally to the situation and let my imagination soar as it squints trying to see what awful things tomorrow has in store.

Jesus warns us not to "worry about tomorrow for...each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matt 6:34).  While we are worrying about tomorrow, we should be dealing with today, which he empowers us to handle.  Each day has enough trouble, not too much.  He doesn't give us more than we can handle each day.  It is we that dredge up the regrets of the past and lasso the worries of the future, which causes our overload under which we tend to buckle.

When I am thinking right, I know God is with me, I know that he has always provided and I know that he will see me through.  When I put my emotions in check and let the air out of my imagination, I know that my Redeemer lives and that he is ever near.  No doubt about it.  Jus' Say'n.