Refuge

I was reading from Numbers 35 this morning about the cities of refuge ordained by the Lord as a place where people who killed someone could be protected from the kinsmen of the departed.  If it was determined that the killing was not murder, he could stay in the city, protected from any retribution until the death of the high priest and then he could go back to his tribe and family.  If, however, he was found outside the city gate by the kinman redeemer before the death of the high priest, the relative could kill him without penalty.

It seems very odd looking at it from the vantage point of western civilization where we do not allow revenge killings, but in a time when brutality was the norm, as we see in countries where Muslim fundamentalists are in power, such a place of refuge with its peculiar regulations was much needed.

What I find important for you and I in our day and time is the concept of a place of refuge, a place where one can safely lay out their case, a place where one can be open and honest and not feel threatened.  We all need a place of refuge, where we can make mistakes and still be accepted, a place where we can be transparent and not be reviled.

Our churches ought to be such places.  Our families ought to be such places.  And, even if there is no other place on earth, our relationship with our spouse needs to be such a place.  When the whole world goes out, we need someone to take us in, wrap their arms around us in loving embrace.  We need that someone with whom we can be fully transparent, with whom we can be ourselves.

If telling the truth to your spouse is not safe, if you suspect or know that he/she will punish you for being open and honest, you are not likely to be fully transparent.  For instance, "Honey, I love this dress.  What do you think of it?"  Do you feel free to say precisely what you think?  Will she accept your words or turn away in a huff?  If your husband asks, "You do agree with me, don't you?"  Do you feel free to say exactly what you think or will that be the start of a battle?

I'm not saying its easy to be totally honest or fully transparent.  I'm not even saying that it is possible to be 100% anything.  I am saying that safety to express or be yourself leads to more transparency and that knowing a place of refuge exists with your spouse promotes openness and honesty.  This is true of larger family groups and churches as well.  It would even be good policy for a business to allow employees to say what they think without fear of retribution.

Regardless of whether you have such a place in your home, office or church; there is such a place you can go to be fully transparent - a place where you can open your soul and pour out whatever may reside there.  That place is the throne room of the Living God: "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Heb 4;16).  Jus' Say'n.